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Jan 10, 2002
A FEW TIPS FROM THE COMMISSIONER ON HOW TO BE A BETTER DBLER:

1) Do not humiliate DBL veterans; they're the reason the game is still going strong after 20 years.

2) Do not abuse the umpire to the point that he or she leaves. It is better to lose a call or a game than a player.

3) Do not under any circumstances threaten to quit and go home if there are 18 or     fewer players left

4) When arguing, call the other guy a jerk, an idiot, or a f---ing a--hole, but try not to get personal

5) Make sure Xavier is not sneaking up behind you with a bat
October 13 2001
Commish Tips: How to be a better DBLer
The Forty-Five Degree Rule Explained
TO: All DBLers
FROM: Commissioner's Office
RE: Maintenance of optimal temperature

With Winter approaching, it is time for the annual explanation of one of the few DBL policies that can be explained -- the 45 degree rule.

The rule is simple, really. If the weather channel, Al Jezeera, or any other legitimate news outlet predicts that Saturday's HIGH TEMPERATURE will reach 45 degrees or more, then DBL games WILL BE PLAYED.

This is is how it works: Say you are at home in bed early one Saturday AM in November. You're wondering whether there is any point to dragging your singles-hitting, groundball-kicking ass out of bed and showing up in Prospect Park, with joggers and dog fanciers giving you a look that seems to say: "Look at that asshole; doesn't he know that it's too cold to play football?" You turn on the radio and flip the dial until you hear a predicted high temp of 46 degrees. THE GAME IS NOW officially ON. It doesn't matter if every other weather source says its going to top out at 37, or 43, or whatever. The key is that every other dedicated DBLer will be searching for that one optimist who's predicting 45-plus; and when they find him (or her) they'll be heading for the park.

No, this is not joke -- it's DBL policy.

If this is too confusing for you, you could also wait until 7 AM and then call the DBL Commissioner's Office at 718 389 3139. If you wake Lisa up, the game is on; if you wake Tom up, the game is off.

One more thing: get some thermal underwear and wear layers. The DBL season does not officially end until Dec. 1
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